this journey has been an abusive parent to me
it’s daily beatings have made me distant
i’m trying hard to hold my patience
but it feels so ugly
to be constantly forsaken
i try to tough it out
to drink it down
but with each acidic sip
i burn my lips
and scar with doubt
once my greatest virtues
now bland as dead passions
where there was once a smile
is now a mouth forced open
filing fast with ashes
Every inch of life feels pain
There’s nothing left to bring me joy
Or even any peace of mind
There simply is nothing there at all
Cruelly cut away before I was ready
To see it all go.
I am living misery
And breathing death into my heart.
Everyday the weight feels greater
My body starves me, dying to feel light again.
The one escape I’ve found is in a dream that only reminds me
of what I washed away, burned down and left behind me
While in waking life I find a lie
that exists only to hide me.
Everytime I think I hear footsteps
Or a knocking on the door
I take a look inside and see
It’s just my beating heart
Cut out and bleeding on the floor.
The heretic’s fork strapped tight around my neck
Stress stretches me too thin to hold up this weary head
Cloudy eyes stare straight through what’s ahead
Fumbling clumsily into every obstacle
Waiting for my feet to trip
Waiting for my neck to slip